There are several things to consider before you decide to ask a guy out. Guys are hardwired to want to be dominant and asking them out may make them feel inferior to you. It is a blow to his ego to be asked out by a girl. While it may seem exciting to him in the spur of the moment, chances are in the long run he would have rather asked you out. It is much more fun for girls to be pursued than to pursue a guy. Don’t worry if you are not constantly being pursued. Patience is key. A guy that is really into you will definitely pursue you, and you will probably both be happier with the outcome if you let him ask you out. If he’s just not that into you, asking him out will do no good anyway. He will likely say no.
It is true that some guys wouldn’t mind if a girl asked him out, but these guys lack the guts to ask out a girl, and do you really want to date a guy who can’t even muster up the courage to ask you out? A good, strong man is hard to find, but is definitely worth the wait. If you are meant to be together, you will end up together. You don’t need to take matters into your own hands. Guys like to have control, and asking him out puts the control in your hands making him feel like less of man.
January 21st, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I agree with you, and am a female, but only to the point of high school and a little after that. If a guy is seriously offended by a girl asking him out, then he needs to get over it.
I mean, not to be rude or dramatic, but most men out of that stage of life (men I have known all my life) are totally fine with it. I’m sure there are exceptions, but any man that’s that sensitive to a woman’s dominace shouldn’t be dating a girl like that. He should be confident enough in his own dominance to be sure of his part in the relationship if he’s going to accept the offer.
But most of what you say I agree with. I grew up with twenty or so older male cousins, and as a result have a very dominant personality, and it intimidates guy. I wish I COULD find a guy dominant enough to control me. Contrary to what most females say, we DO want to be controlled, but GENTLY, if that makes sense.
Anyway, hope my oppinion is revealing to somebody.
March 10th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
This was a helpful post. I think most guys would be turned off in the long run and sorry that they didn’t ask the girl out first. I’ve wanted to ask this guy out at work, just to the bar or something. There’s chemistry between us, but I don’t know if he’s already seeing someone and popping the question would seem awkward. I’m already shy as it is and a rejection would be extremely embarassing…. If he’s man enough, he’ll ask. Or it’s not meant to be and move on.