Breakups are hard. While it may seem easier to use the phone as a barrier to make the breaking up easier, you need to think about the implications of your decision to break up over the phone before you make it.
1. Nonverbal communication is lost over the phone. Most of communication is nonverbal. You will not be able to tell how your significant other is taking the things you are saying if you cannot see their physical reactions. This can cause you to say things that aren’t relevant to his or her current feelings making the breakup more awkward than necessary. Body language is key in knowing what to say next.
2. Refusing face to face interaction is a sign of weakness. It will show much more strength on your part if you can face your significant other. He or she may see your emotions more clearly, but it will be a much more honest interaction than a phone conversation.
3. Your significant other deserves the respect to be heard AND seen. You have taken the time and energy to date this person, mostly in person, I would assume. Even though you are breaking up with him or her, he or she is still a person which means he or she deserves respect. Hear him out. Look her in the eyes. It will likely be easier to face this person later if you have faced them during the breakup.
Taking the easy way out will not get you very far in life. Yes, it might be easier to break up over the phone, but do yourself and your significant other a favor and tell him or her to his or her face!
January 5th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
I agree it’s more respectful to break up in person. However, what if your partner had lying tendencies when it came to meeting other women online and has relations with other women behind your back … and finally (i) found out. Those factors plus the fact he didn’t call on christmas day nor want to hang out with me on New Years Eve after a year of dating… tho he’ll call me his girlfriend to my face!
I finally clued in and got angry and dumped him via text message because I was fed up. Now I feel like I should have took the time to approach him in person and ask him all those questions which he’d deny and come up with a stupid excuse. When I asked him over the phone why he doesn’t want to meet my family after a year of dating, he said he was driving and couldn’t talk to me. He never called me back that night.
Does a guy who disrespects me in such a way deserve to be dumped in person?
I need opinions.
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:02 am
Hi there Jojo
I am going through a bit of a similar scenario myself – been in tears most of morning and last night!
In your case I would say No – he does not deserve to be dumped in person, cos he has been a cad and a liar.
But more importantly – I think you deserve to dump him in person and to (hopefully) get answers to your questions. Don’t make this easy for him – let him squirm – he has treated you badly and he deserves to hear you out.
Hope this is somewhat helpful.
Thanks Joyce
March 6th, 2010 at 9:44 am
I don’t quite agree that the “guy” should be dumped over phone. Regardless of what he has done, relationship break up should be done in person.
That’s in my opinion is the most appropriate way of doing it in order to avoid unnecessary arguments at a later stage.
Just of my 2 cent <a href="http://www.breakupwithsomeoneyoulove.com:)