This is not a question of right or wrong…because lets face it, nobody cares how long your pubic hairs are.  Of all the right and wrong in the world, the length of the scrub around your genitals will probably not tip any scales of justice in either direction.  And I’m sure you could do worse things with your pubic hairs than shave them, braids or dreadlocks, for example, would be more of a moral/sanity concern than shaving.  The real right or wrong question comes in after you have shaved them and are deciding what to do with the leftover pubes.  If you ate them, yes that would be wrong!  If you snuck them into your roommate’s cereal when he wasn’t looking so that he would eat them…that MIGHT be wrong… depending on how douchey your roommate is, and if he was stealing your cereal.  That could be a very creative, passive aggressive way to send a clear message not to eat your food.  There are many other great pranks and horrible outcries of injustice that could come to fruition with a handful of your little curly weiner scarfs, but that topic is for another post.  Let’s get back to the real issue. Shaving your pubic hair is a simple matter of benefits, risks, and consequences. Let’s start with the benefits.

Getting rid of all of that hair at once means you don’t have to waste any time trying to find those little rebel suckers that occasionally escape and hide in the corners and crevasses of your restroom, waiting for the right moment to jump out into view when the unsuspecting guest is on a peaceful stroll to the johnny.  There is not much grosser in this world than having to last minute side step somebody else’s stray sausage slinky, so a pubic shave could be a good way to show consideration to your roommates and guests.  It will also make your penis look bigger. That floppy flamingo forest can hide at least 25% of an unerect penis when wet. Not that many other people would see this, actually if you are the type of person who seriously looks these kinds of questions up on Google, I would feel safe assuming that you are the only person that ever sees your penis, and probably a bit too often, so I’d say it’s definitely worth the effort for your own personal ego boost.

Now, the risks. The first that comes to mind and the biggest risk is that you could cut your penis off.  I don’t really feel like discussing that dilemma here so let’s assume that if you plan to take on this endeavor that you are going to be very careful… no large knives, no alcohol, and no Parkinson’s disease. This is not a place you want to slip up or “have an accident,” but I think if you just choose the right tool and take your time, the risks should be minimal. And it’s not like trying to cut your own hair on your head, because you can see most of what you are doing, and it doesn’t really have to be even. Beyond catastrophes and aesthetics, there really are no other risks that I can think of, so now, last but not least, the consequences.

The consequences sort of depend on your personal situation.  It could possibly itch, depending on how you cut them, as the hair grows back, and it’s not appropriate to constantly scratch your groin in public, so you need to be careful when and how you do it.  I’d recommend trying a small spot first just to see how it turns out, and then progressing as you feel comfortable. You might find that your frank and beans are a little cold without their sweater if you do it in the winter.  Good luck asking your grandma to knit you a replacement.  But in the summer it could feel really nice to have a little less of that scraggly sweat soaked shingling swashing with every step as you saunter back from your favorite sporting activity.

In summary, I will say, it IS OKAY, you just need to put a little thought into all the possibilities and outcomes when dealing with anything involving your bearded baby maker, because this is not a limb you want to live without.